Life Happens

From the Heart of Grace Waters…


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Life Happens

Yes, this is the title of my blog, but it fits with what is going on in my life right now. I am preparing to move with my husband to a whole new state where I have no family or friends, and I know nothing about where I am going. Somehow though, I am at peace. When my husband first came to me with the news that we would be relocating, I immediately rebelled against the idea. I got a picture in my head of me being uprooted from all that I know and love, and being left alone in another state while my husband is working and surrounded by his colleagues. I admit that I had a negative thought process-but then something changed. Though leaving is sad, I began to look forward to the positive aspects of moving. I could have a fresh start. Not to say that I could erase the past, but I could separate it from my future. When I became more optimistic, I could literally see doors opening up in front of me-opportunities that I may have otherwise missed if I remained pessimistic. I spoke with a friend today who asked me about what it is that I would love to do in life. After speaking with her, I had a clear plan, and I had a new focus. I also realized that all my plans  are possible due to this big move. Admittedly, there are some things I could have accomplished living in Atlanta, but I believe that there are specific things waiting on me to conquer elsewhere. Sometimes things happen in life that mess up our plans. We are not happy about it most of the time–and more often than not we will see the negative before the positive. If we take a moment, however, to look at the big picture we will realize that there is good in every not so good situation. It always amazes me how life throws the curve balls that we detest swinging at, but when we swing and hit the ball we inspire ourselves to reach further and hit harder next time. This move is one of life’s curve balls, and I aim to swing and knock the ball out of the park. I will not strike out. I will be the hero in my own game. I have a coach who has never lost a game, so I will follow his lead and know that by doing so I will win the game. When life happens, as it always will, we have to be careful with how we respond. Whether a change is temporary or permanent, within the change is an opportunity for growth, maturity, and development. Life happens. Flow with it.


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The 80/20 Rule

There are a lot of things that I want. For instance, I would not mind a three series BMW with all the trim. Nor would I mind a walk-in closet full of nothing but designer clothing and shoes. Do I need those things? No. Is it ok to want those things? Yes. I just have to know the difference between needing and wanting. While those things I mentioned are blatantly superficial, they illustrate the point of an even greater dilemma-the battle of wants versus needs in every area of our lives. To explain let me tell you a story about a young woman. This woman is one who some would have said had everything: a loving husband, nice home, good job, great friends. She had everything anyone could ever want-or so it seemed. This woman, however, did not see that she had all she needed. Yes she had the husband, home, job, and friends, but she felt that she was missing out on something. The woman began to seek out what she thought she needed and slowly self-destructed. One day there was an emotional explosion, and the woman was on the verge of losing everything. Those things she took for granted-the husband, house, job, and friends-almost evaporated before her eyes. It was not until after the blow-up that the woman realized that she had all she needed. She had almost thrown away everything for what she wanted. It was ok for her to want, but she allowed her wants to blind her to the fact that she had all that she needed. That woman was me. Sometimes we allow ourselves to think that “the grass is always greener on the other side”. We even forget the 80/20 rule in which we may have 80 percent of what we need, but because we are not getting the other 20 percent we leave behind the 80 percent to find the 20 percent. Instead of working to increase what we have we settle for less than what we already had. Then when we have the 20 percent we realize just how much we are missing. That 20 percent may be tempting and may sustain you for a moment, but when the smoke clears and reality hits, you will realize that the 80 percent is more than enough.


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I Forgive Me

I did it.

Yup that was me,

Caught up in what I felt,

Instead of in what I could see.

 

I stepped in.

Played with the water.

Almost drowned before realizing,

I was in way too deep.

 

Somehow I stayed.

The temptation was too potent,

My feeble mind could not decipher,

the warning signs.

 

Way too late,

I realized that one moment,

can change a lifetime,

and it wasn’t just mine.

 

I was stuck.

Mired in the stench and muck,

unseeing, not realizing,

lost.

 

Then something happened.

The unrelenting waves began to calm,

I saw the proverbial light,

as it broke through and kissed my face.

 

I looked down.

No more chains holding me hostage,

It was my own hands,

holding myself down.

 

I broke free.

No longer a prisoner in my own head.

No more a part of the living dead.

I saw me.

 

It was me.

Yup I did it.

I won’t forget it.

But I forgive me.


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Jigsaw Puzzle

I like words. I enjoy fitting each word into a phrase that helps what I am feeling make sense. Creating a sentence is synonymous to a jigsaw puzzle in which only the correct pieces fit together. Inside each individual word is another small puzzle of sorts. My life, lately, has been like the synthesis of words into a complete phrase. The pieces have been arranged and rearranged until they fit. Unlike the puzzle pieces, which are inanimate and unfeeling pieces of matter, rearranging the different pieces of my life has caused some pain and discomfort. I have wanted to stop the building of the puzzle, but I could not stop because then there would be a hole where substance is supposed to be. I was not even able to take what someone else had already begun to put together and add to it-though that would have been easier. Instead I had to start from scratch with the first piece. I had to begin building and discover along the way what pieces make up me. Just as in a real jigsaw puzzle, I began with the edges, knowing that sometimes that is the easiest thing to deal with. As each outer layer was built, I worked my way in to where the pieces began to form that which is at the very core of me. What I had not realized as my puzzle began to be built is that sometimes it is easy for the puzzle pieces to get mixed up if there are similar shapes. Sometimes good enough is still not right. I had a puzzle piece that I had been trying to make fit, but it would not fit because it was only similar in shape, but not the right shape. In order to keep building this puzzle I had to find the right piece to put in the right place. All of that twisting and turning, and all of the hours of building finally left me in a state of completion. Though there are cracks in a puzzle even after it is completed, no one pays attention to the cracks because the finished masterpiece is what catches the eye. By no means is my masterpiece all the way completed because I expect that a shift in the positioning of the puzzle may call for some adjustment. I know that sometimes in the process of being built you have to be broken down. Puzzle pieces have to be flipped, turned, and sometimes exchanged for other pieces. What you thought would fit may turn out that it cannot, and you have to rebound and find what works. Such is life. The building of a puzzle can be frustrating but the purpose is clear-in the end there is a finished masterpiece.