Life Happens

From the Heart of Grace Waters…

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Never Alone

We all have those moments. Yes that moment. The one you just thought of. At least that is what I just thought of. The moments when you feel like you are all alone on an island-the only survivor from a plane called life. Sometimes it seems that everyone else gets all the attention, and like no one truly sees you. You watch seemingly everyone else around you get affirmation and applause, but you are the outsider looking in. You walk through life, often hurting, but it seems that no one sees you. You wear a pasted on smile, wondering if anyone will notice that your eyes are just a little too bright, hiding the sheen of tears threatening to fall down at any moment. You spend your time giving everything you have to everyone else around you, yet it seems that when you need someone, they are off giving someone else what you so desperately need. Inside you scream, but outside, you are the epitome of happiness. You have become a good actor/actress, so good in fact, that you can almost fool yourself. Almost. There comes a point though, when everything seems to weigh you down. That pasted on smile begins to droop a little. Still, it seems that no one sees you. You feel like the weight of the world is all on your shoulders, and if even a feather of a thing dropped on your shoulder, you would fall and never get back up. You feel alone. Yet you are never alone. Someone else is dealing with the same thing you are. Someone else is feeling your pain. I have been in this place when it seemed that I was the one no one seemed to see. It was almost as if even if I walked into a room no one would notice me. I convinced myself that no one cared, and that I was not important. I believed that if I were not around, no one would even miss me. I flirted with suicide. I thought about how I would do it, and what I would use. I even planned out when I would do it. Alas, it wasn’t to be. God had other plans for my life. Sometimes we get in such a low place, and we allow our emotions and negative thoughts to talk us into decisions that we can never take back. It is only because of God that I am still here today. That’s one of the reasons I believe in Him. Even now, when low thoughts try to come, and when it seems I am all alone, I have to remember that I am never truly alone. My circumstances may seem that way. I may not have a plethora of friends, or a list of people I can call on at any given moment. What I do have is the belief that God loves me, and that the people who are supposed to be in my life are. I also remember that regardless of how it may seem the complete opposite, someone in this big world does need me. I am never alone, because someone else is waiting on me to remind them that they are not alone. The cycle goes on, but only if I continue the movement. You may be in a low place. You may feel like no one cares. Know this. I care. I believe in you. You are never alone.