Our lives are a series of experiences-some good and some not as great, some just simply bad. We never know what may transpire from one day to the next, and we plan as much as possible, but when the unexpected happens it can take us by surprise. Sometimes the decisions we make lead us down a path that we wish we had never begun. By that time it is just too late to change how things are, and things tend to work themselves out. Just like when we hurt ourselves physically and the wound heals, our life situations sometimes carry old scars. We have moved on from the situation. We have thought we healed. We even thought that just because we were made better by the situation, that it could not hurt us anymore. I found out, recently, that this was wrong.
I had a situation that happened years ago. I faced the situation. I called myself moving on from it; however, I did not realize that I brought some of the feelings and emotions from then into now-feelings of shame, of not being good enough, of self-doubt, of being judged if people “found out”, low self-esteem, and fear of rejection and abandonment. I allowed those things to hitch a ride on my back, to color my view of myself, and to influence my interactions with others. I thought low of myself, hence I was afraid to jeopardize how others perceived me. That lead to me being afraid to say no and not wanting to ever be the cause of anyone being upset. It also lead to me believing that I was a failure because I had allowed myself to make bad decisions, and not trusting that I could be more than what was at that time.
Sometimes life just happens, and sometimes we heal but we don’t “clean out the wound” first. We gloss over things and act like everything is better, but then time brings back what we “healed” from, and we realize that the wound is infected and was covered over by a scar. Well, it is time to pour some “alcohol” in the wound. All of those things that threaten to arrest you in your now need to be cleaned out. Go to God, reaffirm yourself, acknowledge what has been, and leave it there. You are more than what was. Your life is not small, and you matter more than you could ever imagine. Never allow life’s inconsistencies and let downs be the epitome of who you are. Be better. Be greater. Don’t settle for being who you are not because you fear people not accepting who you are. There is more…you are more…
Life Happens 