Life Happens

From the Heart of Grace Waters…


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Embrace the Weird

I’m just a bit quirky…ok, maybe a lot quirky, but who’s really measuring? lol. I am the one in the room with a bunch of people who can choose to be extroverted and talkative, but who most likely will find the best corner to sit and watch others. I am that person who really does not care to say much, but finds it weird to be in the ┬ámidst of people talking, so I try to interject a little just to say I tried. I am that “weird”. Now when I use weird, it’s not in the negative connotation that many think about. My “weird” means peculiar, different, not like the rest, set apart, intentionally and innately comfortable being one’s self. That’s my weird. For years I tried to be different. I tried to be someone who everyone would embrace. I got hurt time and time again when people didn’t seem interested in me, but only what they could get from me. I shut down, opened, up, got hurt again, and shut down again. Cycle after cycle, my weird got me in trouble. That is until I decided to embrace the weird. Even now, I don’t always fit into the crowd. I often have nothing to say when everyone else has so much to say. Sometimes I just don’t want to talk or be around everyone, but sometimes my responsibilities force me to; however, that does not mean that I have to blend in with those around me. Just as in romantic relationships, there is someone for everyone. So, I choose to embrace those who embrace me…love those who love me…and be kind even to those who don’t understand or accept me. This life is too short to spend it being anyone or anything but who God created each of us to be.

So, if you are struggling with fitting in…struggling because you feel like the odd one out (which you just may be), struggling because “they” seem to like “everyone else” better than you…frustrated because your circle is small and the number of those you can really trust is even smaller…I get it. But this is an opportunity for you to get to know the intricacies of yourself, understanding that not everyone was meant to be “the life of the party”. Some were meant to stand out. As the saying goes, there really is a lid for every pot. Stop letting what people say and think change you into something that makes you dislike yourself. Embrace your weird. Embrace who you are. Enjoy being different. That makes you amazing. Some will like you. Some won’t. Some will love you. Some won’t. Some will understand you. Some won’t. Even so, it’s not your job to make anyone embrace you. Free yourself.

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Learning to Lose Control

I like being in control. Really, I do. That is not to say that I cannot function when I am not, but it can be a bit uncomfortable. Imagine my surprise when my husband came to me and suggested an East Coast tour for our 8th wedding anniversary. His only caveat was that we would go to several states, and instead of planning what we would do in each, I had to be alright just “going with the flow”. He did not want me looking up things to do, or having an itinerary scheduled. I was supposed to just sit back and let things happen. Say what? I thought that he must have been mistaken thinking that I could or would allow that to happen. As we talked about it more though, I decided that I could try. Admittedly, I still charted our course and where we would stay in each state, but I did not plan our outings or anything else. I allowed myself to be alright with losing control.

As we flew in to our first destination to get our rental car for driving from place-to-place on our way back to Georgia, I was excited. It was good to get away and be able to breathe a little. Still a bit hesitant not knowing what we would be doing exactly, I decided I would relax and see what happened. As each day passed, I felt life’s cares begin to fade away as I enjoyed discovering new things and wandering somewhat aimlessly through each place. As I let go of my control, I rediscovered the joy in being present in the moment. I understood, again, that life is not about having every single aspect of my time being carefully constructed and organized. I remembered what it was to live, laugh, and love without parameters and without knowing the next steps. I rediscovered me along the way. As I released the tendency to plan and to know what would happen at all times, I understood that sometimes losing control is not a bad thing.

Now, I cannot say that I will never want to control things, because I will. My personality lends to having things organized and efficient, but I understand that sometimes life will just happen. Sometimes it needs to happen…and I have to be alright with that. In the same token, many of us feel that if we let go a little, things will not go as we would like them to. Honestly, they may not. One thing is for sure though; Life goes on. Good and bad happens, but you are built for this. Breathe. Release. Live a little. Life is waiting on you.