Life Happens

From the Heart of Grace Waters…

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Facing the Ghosts

I did it. I faced my ghosts. “Ghosts?” , you may be asking. Yes, ghosts. Those memories that had been haunting me. No, the memories were not all bad, but the effect of them all together has been bad. Really bad. Today, I went back to a place that I have not dared visit in years. I sat outside the building, and I actually allowed the memories to flow. Good. Bad. Ugly. It all flowed. As tears streamed down my face, I remembered every word spoken in that place. I thought about all of the laughs, the jokes, and the time spent. I remember when that place was a safe haven, but then I remembered, vividly, the night I ran away from there. Yet, here I was years ago facing it once again. As I sat there, I remembered the night that cost me some things I held dear. I paid the price in people who walked away, but more so with my peace, my love, and my belief in myself. I paid the price for a long time, in the end exacting a price on my own head when the debt had already been paid. But today, I decided that enough is really enough. So, I went back to that place where I lost so much of me, and I chose to get it all back. In that place, after the memories flew through my mind, and the tears slowed down, I began to reclaim what I lost. Not only that, but I decided I wanted all of that plus interest. In addition to my joy, my peace, my love, and my belief in myself, I claimed victory over what I allowed to happen to me. The sole prisoner in a jail of my own making, I chose to break free. So, as I sat in front of that building, still rocked by the memories, I took one final breath. I took one last look. I cherished the happy memories that the place held for me. Then I put my hands on the steering wheel, and drove away. As I drove away, I put all of those memories and all the experiences in my mind, and then I let them float away. It was finally time to let go.┬áNo looking back this time.